i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
