I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ketchup is God's man juice
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
