you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dick very happy bro
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
