Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
