no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
