My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize