Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
