I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
