Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
