So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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