I'm laying in your front yard are you home
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
