You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
