good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize