i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize