It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
