So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
