I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
