You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
