i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think people are normalizing furries
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
