There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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