Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
