I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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