Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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