hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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