If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
