Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
