I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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