Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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