I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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