4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
