Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
