There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
