She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
