I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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