i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
