well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
