My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize