Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
