You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
