some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
