If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
