if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
