after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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