I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
