He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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