Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
