And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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