You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
