your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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