counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
