Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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