the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize