you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
