i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i believe in u and ur pee
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
