I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and she was petting her beer can
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
