he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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