Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
