Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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