So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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