I want to make a zoo with you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize