He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
