I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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