on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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