it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
