matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
