I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
