If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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