so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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