He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Be still, my beating vagina.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
