I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
