I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
