im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
